Happy Conception Day!!

When thinking about what to blog about this week, only one thing came to mind. Oktoberfest. My favorite Holiday!!

Disclaimer- I apologize ahead of time, this post is about to contain TO MUCH INFORMATION. But I figured all our close friends and family know the story, so why not make it public.

So you are probably thinking.... Ok, what's so special about Oktoberfest?...  Have you ever been curious about your conception? Hopefully your parents have a really awesome story, like "well hunny, 33 years ago your father and I had one heck of a time at a toga party". Nine months following said toga party, my brother was born. True story.  Well let's just say, Charlotte will never be disappointed when we are confronted with this question. AND it gives us all the more reason to celebrate this fabulous weekend full of German beer. Das Boots!!

Rewind to four years ago on this holiday.

Massive consumption of pumpkin beer = a baby nine months down the road.

Let me add a little more TMI to this story. Although Charlotte was not planned on this particular night, we had been trying for about 5 months prior with no luck. The morning after this night of Oktoberfest fun, my husband woke to a ruptured disc in his back resulting in surgery and 3 months out of work. First thought- That must have been a fun night. Second thought- Well shit, there goes our baby making.  However, that was not the case. Two weeks later came a positive pee stick!

So... Cheers to Charlie!! HAPPY CONCEPTION DAY!! I hope this story will make you laugh some day or embarrass the shit out of you. Either way works for me.

 

Hey. I warned you. :)

 

Side note:



While I am writing this blog, Charlie comes up to me, pricks my fingers with a pen,  pricks her finger, shakes my hand, and then says "blood brothers". What just happened?? Me- "where did you learn that?!?" Charlie- "at school". WTF! Has my daughter joined a preschool gang??

Quick- get me an exorcist and a bottle vodka!!!

**WARNING**don't be fooled.

My daughter may appear to be cute on the outside...but I promise there is a demon living inside her body this week. Lets rewind to last weekend.

I notice that the toilet isn't flushing right. So I spend several minutes with the plunger, with no luck. In walks Charlie- "oooo, mommy get my baby dinosaur!! (bouncing up and down like a lunatic, pointing at the toilet) he's in the hole. and my chalk too!!" Um yaaaa, that would explain it. Thanks Charlotte.

Following the toilet incident, we take a trip to Once Upon a Child to do some quick shopping. In the store they have a little play area set up to keep the kiddos busy while the mommies shop. Well apparently my daughter thinks its a good idea to trap another kid inside the small refrigerator of a play kitchen and almost smash her small fingers to pieces with the door. Lets just say, with all the evil "you're a bad mommy" stares, we left without making a purchase. Thanks Charlotte.

Couple days later, toilet is still not working, I come home from work. As soon as I walk in the door I am assaulted with nail polish fumes. Not a good sign. In walks Charlie- "Mommy!!! Look at my pretty nails" only there is barely any polish on her nails. More like in the general area of her legs, arms, and face. And guess where else?? ALL OVER MY DAMN HOUSE!! Thanks Charlotte.

Aunt Jessie says "pictures, or it didn't happen". So here is what I was able to capture while blowing steam out of every orifice of my body.

 

No, that is not art... that's the doing of my demon child. And I would like to add that these few pictures DO NOT give the few HOURS it took to clean any justice AT ALL. Nail polish literally spanned the entire length of my house. Including- floors, walls, toy chest, couch, toilet, refrigerator, and windows.  You are probably thinking, where was the parent supervision? Ask my husband. And if he gives you a good answer, I would like to hear it because apparently, it is my fault our child is a genius who can crack a child lock.  

 

There's more. I sent Chuck to HD to get the largest can of acetone and dinner... cause I am obviously in no mood to cook dinner. I am on my hands and knees scrubbing the floors, Charlotte is confined to the back bedroom with her dinner. In walks Charlie, "mommy, I need more milk". "what happen to the sippy I just gave you??" "I dumped it on the bed". She wasn't lying. Add laundry and scrubbing a mattress to my evening TO DO list. Thanks again Charlotte. Thanks.

 

This leads to several conversations with my husband. One involves the idea of dropping our demon  child on Grandma's door step and fleeing the state and another is the obvious, "we are definitely not having any more children!!"  Hope you enjoy being an only child Charlotte.  I have also come to the conclusion that this recent behavior can only be the result of the new school schedule. Here me out. She goes to school and is forced to be on her BEST behavior for 6 hours. Then she comes home and has to unleash all that pent up evil.

 

Speaking of school, Charlie just finished up her 3rd week. Week one and two were tough. She cried a lot. Every morning my heart broke with her "I don't want to go to school. I want to stay home with you mommy" (awww!)  Chuck had jury duty during week two, so I got to take her to school and pick her up a few days. Drop offs weren't fun, since I could hear her screaming from the parking lot, but I LOVED picking her up. They do quiet/nap time from 1-2 just before they go home and it is sooo sweet to see all the kids passed out on their cots snoozing away. And I still don't know how the teachers do it... or what they slip into their lunch... but its sweet. This past week, Charlotte got to stay home Monday and Tuesday. She had a cold. Damn kids and their contagious germs. But the rest of the week went great! No crying whatsoever. And one of her teachers told us Charlotte is one of the smartest kids in the class. Yup, that's my daughter (the demon-less one).

 

We've acquired lots of awesome fridge art the past couple of weeks. Check out these masterpieces: 

 

 

O. O! Funny story. Notice the Goonies- Truffle Shuffle magnet? I bought that for Chuck when I was in Philly a few weeks back. Charlie says "look, its daddy when he was a baby". HAHAHA. Makes me laugh every time. It really does look like him. Ha.

 

So that's a recap of the heaven and hell I call my life.... but I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

 

 

Summer Shenanigans

I have to admit, I have not touched my camera since Charlie's 3rd Birthday. So here is a run down of this past summer via iphone photos/videos.

So summer started off with a major buzz kill on my end. I ended up fracturing my ankle playing kickball and landing myself this not-so-awesome cardinals red cast:

 

 

I was supposed to keep this bad boy on for 6 weeks.... but who wants to wants that?? 2 weeks was long enough for me before I cut the dang thing off myself :) Even with the cast, we were able to visit the drive-in twice, 6 flags (with the help of a motorized scooter, lol), and the Muny.

 

We also spent A LOT of time hanging out in the backyard. Charlie playing in the pool, while I read a book. Or at least tried to read before Charlie discovered how much fun it was to attack me with a water gun. Just look how evil she is in the bottom picture!

 



More random photos

Top left, going clockwise: Six Flags, May Cup horseshoe tournament x2, Sherk at the Muny with Gma Jo.

 

1st REAL haircut with my cousin Takara. I think it is already time for a 2nd visit!

 Gotta love the curls :)

Blue Fest 2013

 



As you can see, its been a pretty uneventful summer.But Charlie has been entertainment enough!



 

 

Both videos are from a month or so ago. Since then she has become a pro at her ABC's and can now count to 20+! And if you ask her how old she is, she will gladly tell you "thirty two". Her speech has improved so much, that sometimes I wish she had a MUTE button. Wouldn't that be WONDERFUL :)

 

 Lately, Miss Charlie thinks she can get anything by using the word "please"....

 

Charlie: Can I have a treat (popsicle)?

Me: No you cannot have a popsicle for breakfast.

Charlie: Please? Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeeeaaaassssseeeee?

 

OR just last night when we were going to bed...

 

Charlie: Cory? Can I have a dinosaur?

Me: Nope.

Charlie: Please? Please? Please? Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseeee?

 

You get the picture. This goes on all day long. And if you ignore her, you get "Cory? Hear me? CORY listen!!!"

 

Notice, she does not call me Mom. Only Cory. And Chuck is no longer Dad, he is now Chucky. Which he hates. And both get us a lot of funny looks from our friends, family, and even strangers.

 

We also get a lot of "GAWD Cory!!" and "GAWD Chuck!!" which makes me mad and laugh at the same time.

 

At the beginning of the year, Grandma Jo won a visit from Santa Clause and we are planning on having a Breakfast with Santa at our house this winter for all the kids (SOOO EXCITED!! Mommies, keep an eye out for your invites and skip the lines at Bass Pro!). Well I made the mistake of telling Charlie this, so now every single time she sees a commercial for a toy its "ooh. Charlie (because she always refers to herself in 3rd person) likes that. Charlie tell Santa Clause" So now her Christmas list is the size of a book.

 

Again, where is the MUTE button. LOL.

 

Just kidding...maybe.  Love you Charlie!! :)

Charlie's 1st day of PreK

You read that right. Today was Charlie's 1st day of preschool. Can you believe it? I sure can't. Baby girl is growing up way too fast.

We were a little stumped on where to send Charlie for her first year. We had several options, but narrowed it down to the two closest pre-k schools- Shenandoah (literally in our back yard) and Magnolia Head Start (2 blocks away).  We decided against Shenandoah, because they don't even have a playground. The kids just stand around outside with a ball. WTH kind of school is that? But we hadn't heard from Magnolia, so we had no choice but to enroll her at Shenandoah since we procrastinated all summer. Bad parents! She was getting ready to start in one week when we finally got a call from Magnolia. They were able to squeeze us in last minute. YAY!! Charlie gets a playground.

So here is Charlie on her first day of school.

 

Chuck and I both walked Charlie to school this morning. When it was time to go, she gave me a kiss and practically pushed me out the door. Humph, that was easy. I then went to work and waited for that embarrassing phone call... "umm, Mrs Dickens?? We need you to come get your child. She (fill in the blank with something AWFUL)." Which could be (1) refuses to keep her clothes on and is running around the school butt naked, (2) peed in the doll house (probably while running around naked), (3) is fighting/biting all the kids for the dinosaurs toys (again while naked and peeing all over the toys). That's just a few of the possible worst case scenarios that were running through my head all day while trying to work.  But nope. Apparently she did great. And even came home in the same clothes she arrived in and ponytails still in tact.  I couldn't be more proud!! The only comment from Ms. Susan was "that girl has a lot of energy". Freaking tell me about Ms. Susan.

 

I was so excited to get home and hear about her 1st day. Here is a little clip of what she had to say. PS- I have no clue why she mentioned playing with trash?? weirdo.

 

 

I don't know who is more excited about school.... Charlie or Chuck. Charlie gets to have lots of fun playing with "dump trucks and bikes and dinosaurs", while daddy gets to catch up on some much needed sleep. I am also a little excited that she gets a nutritional breakfast and lunch while at school. One less thing for me to worry about, plus I don't have to come home for lunch everyday to make sure she eats something besides "jelly burgers" or what normal people like to call peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Again, she's a weirdo.